you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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