She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
