Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
