oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize