I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
