was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
