ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
