im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
