So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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