Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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