He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Well I just put wine in my tea
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
