I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
