Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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