I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
