I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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