how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
