some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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