she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
