I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
only if we run a train.
done.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
