it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
