I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
