Cold hands, warm shart.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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