So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Randomize
