dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
