one two three fourrrrnication!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
