you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
