just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
