barbara walters just said penis...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
