Me. At least after what I've been through.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
That accounts for only three of the penises
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
