It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
