At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just googled if crying burns calories
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
