And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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