Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
