took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
