The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
