thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
