sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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