I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
