He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
