To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
