why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
