I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
