I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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