The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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