My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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