i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
