I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
