hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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