I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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