Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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